Okay. Earth is destroyed, because of the Covenant Artifact mentioned on ilovebees, but Durga escapes with the combined imprinted AI of Jersey, Jan, Kamal, and Rani. Then she goes rampant and explodes a spaceship. Master Chief ran away, though, and the planet blew up while he was in the bathroom of the Pillar Of Autumn II. He weeps, then sends the ship on a suicide mission toward the Covenant homeworld's sun. But the ship gets boarded with impossible numbers, and all you have is a half-clip of SMG, and an empty plasma pistol. You lock yourself in a room, and have a hot number with Cortana. [EDIT!] OMG! I forgot to mention, Master Chief becomes a girl, so there's a lesbian hot number after it too. OMG SEXY. [/EDIT] But the boarders are called away, and you're stuck in the room for two months. Then, a grunt flying a Yellow Banshee crashes into the door, which you hijack and then can escape. The thing is, as you are flying away towards the Covenant Fleet, Cortana says that she's pregnant. You panic, as she starts bloating and demanding prune ice cream, so every so often she punches you and your suit's shield drops. So, you get to the Homeworld, whip out your SMG, but find out it shoots tank shells instead of bullets, so you now can attack the Mega-Prophet who is floating over Newer Mombasa which they stole from Earth. He shoots lazers from his eyes, can crush you with his chair, and summon flaming ninjas to take you down. You then have to gain your magic attacks from the Arbiter, which have things like Fireball, Lightning Bolt, and Summon Flood. You cast that, and the Covenant start exploding when you see this. Now, here's the part where the Breaking Benjamin song starts playing, only the song has a LOT more wailing on guitar. So you now grab weapons and cast Super Time x3 which speeds up time three times, and the battle gets really intense. So when you kill the Flaming Ninja, you get the Flaming Ninja Sword, which is like the energy sword but can be dual wielded and throw nukes too. So, you grab the sword, and the guitars get REAL loud, and you start killing the Sentinel Hunters, which shoot green Sentinel beams which throw you into the air, but when you kill them you have to charge up your Mini-Halo that you got in New Mombasa, and then you and the Arbiter combine the power of friendship and shoot the Halo and the Mega-Prophet, who screams. Just then, though, Cortana starts going into labor, and begins to shoot Master Chief babies at him from your crotch, which you dual wield with the Mini-Halo. The guitar solo starts getting so loud it breaks your subwoofer, and then the Covenant homeworld starts transforming into a peaceful valley like the first level in Halo, and all the Covenant have a change of heart and come to you with flowers. But the flaming ninja sword goes nuts, and you die as it explodes. The Arbiter weeps, and then enthusiastically corpse-humps you. The Covenant cheer, and start to rebuild relations with the humans, and present Online Co-Op and the Quad Rocket Launcher to Master Chief's parents, which you then unlock in the Live settings. But just as the screen is about to cut to black and the credits roll, Gandalf goes crazy and kills them all.
Yeah. That's the ending. I saw it, or actually my best friend's cousin's friend who works for Microsoft told him, who told him, who told me. It was t3h r0xz0r.
Edited by TheDrinkNinja, 30 October 2004 - 07:04 AM.